


The Inferno

by Jen Hall (Greenlady)



Series: Mountains of the Moon [2]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: M/M, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-19
Updated: 2010-09-19
Packaged: 2017-10-12 00:46:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenlady/pseuds/Jen%20Hall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky and Hutch go on a sightseeing tour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Inferno

"Hi. Welcome to the tour. I'm Jodie Mitchison, I'm studying Marine Biology at the University, and I'll be your guide on this adventure."

"Hello. I'm Ken Hutchinson, and this is my partner, David Starsky."

"Partners?" The pretty young tour guide looked only moderately confused by the term.

Starsky smiled. "We're Police Officers."

"Oh. Well, it will take us a while to get out into whale territory. If you have any questions, just ask me."

"We will. Thanks."

They went over to the boat rail, and Hutch gazed out as though he expected whales to appear at any moment, despite the guide's words. Starsky leaned against the rail beside him. He was silent, but seemed to be watching Hutch more than the water. Further along the rail were two lovely young women. They watched Starsky and Hutch, rather as dogs might eye a couple of rare and juicy steaks. Once, Hutch might have offered to let them chew on his bone. Now, they just irritated him.

Starsky elbowed him in the ribs. "Want to move along the rail? That way?" He pointed toward the stern of the boat, away from the women. Hutch nodded and they shifted along the rail a few yards.

"More privacy here," said Starsky.

Yes, this is better, thought Hutch. Then he immediately felt guilty. Who was he to deprive Starsky of any pleasure?

"Hutch?"

"Yes?"

"How many times have we done it?"

"It?"

"Yeah. It, ya'know? How many times?"

"I really have no idea."

"Well, Mister, neither do I. I lost count ages ago. I can hardly get out of bed in the morning because my bones have melted. I can hardly keep my eyes open all day. We've done it so many times, that sometimes I'll be walking along the street beside you, and I feel as if I'm still sucking your big cock."

"Starsk."

"Hutch. Now, I almost dislocated my jaw the first time I did that. Remember? So I've been doing jaw stretching exercises to loosen it up."

"Is this conversation one of them?"

"Yeah. And speaking of stretching, walking has become real interesting."

"Starsk."

"Hutch. You know something else?" Starsky leaned in particularly close. "You're really tight, Hutch. Really, really tight. You're so tight, the first time I fucked you, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven."

"Starsky, please."

"I'm trying here, Hutch. Trying to describe how tight you are, but it's hard, you know."

"I'll just extrapolate from my own experience, okay?"

"Okay. You extrapolate all you like. We haven't tried extrapolating yet. Sounds like fun."

"Starsky. Are you finished?"

"Finished? Hell, no. I'm just getting warmed up." "Well let me know when you get to the point of all this."

"The point of all this, is that I'm not losing out on anything by not screwing those women. Now, if you want to, that's okay. I'm not saying I wouldn't be jealous, 'cause I'd be crazy jealous. But if you need to for some reason, like if it'll reassure you of your manhood or something..."

"Starsk, I don't need to reassure myself of my manhood, and I don't need to screw those women."

"Sure? The redhead is cute."

"She has a lean and hungry look. Such women are dangerous."

"Okay. That's okay. Just, whatever you need to make you happy."

"Starsky, I am happy."

"Are you?"

"Yes. Have you been thinking I'm not?"

"I don't know what to think. You're so quiet, Hutch. You stare off into space a lot. You look at me funny sometimes, like you're wondering what you got yourself into."

"That's not what I'm wondering."

"Then what are you wondering?"

"Starsk, do we really have to have this conversation here?"

"Well, so far we haven't had it anywhere else. Might as well try it here."

They gazed out at the still-whaleless ocean for a while. Gulls soared overhead, and screamed esoteric gull insults at them. After a time, it all began to give Hutch a surreal feeling of freedom, as if he might say anything and his words would just be carried away on the waves, and never come back to haunt him.

"Have you ever read Dante, Starsky?"

"Dante? Hmm. I think I've heard the name. Isn't he a poet?"

"Yeah. Ever read the Divine Comedy?"

"Not much. What's it about?"

"Well, it's about Heaven and Hell and retribution and salvation..."

"Doesn't sound very funny to me."

"It's not. Dante met a young woman one day, and fell in love with her. Name was Beatrice. She became his muse, though they never even spoke to each other. She was pure, and a virgin, and she died really young. To Dante she was his salvation, leading him from this sinful world to a shining future in heaven."

"Beatrice."

"Yes. So, after she died, he wrote the Divine Comedy. It describes Hell, and Purgatory, and Heaven. At least as Dante saw them. There's a really beautiful verse in there somewhere, describing a mother bird waking at dawn, and being driven by her love for her babies to fly out of the nest into the dangerous world to get them food. That's what my love for you feels like sometimes."

"You're thinking I'm a baby bird?"

Starsky asked this with the sort of studied calm used by cops on very small children and lunatics.

"No. But I love you that much. It beats in me like wings, it's what keeps me alive, what makes me go on trying, even when..."

"I know, Hutch. I know."

"Do you? Dante has a dream, or a vision. The poet Virgil leads him on tour of Hell. They pass through circle after circle of evil sinners and criminals, thieves and murderers and rapists."

"Sounds like LA."

"And then they reach the innermost circle of Hell. The very worst monsters who ever lived. One of them is a man that Dante really admired, his mentor, a man named Brunetto Latini. Dante cannot believe that this wonderful man would be here, at the heart of Hell, with the other sinners who are violent against God and nature. But it turns out that Latini was a Sodomite."

"Ah."

"Yes. Of all the terrible crimes that anyone could commit, nothing can compare to one man sucking another man's dick. It warps all of nature, destroys God's plan for all of creation."

"Hutch, you don't believe that?" Starsky's face was bewildered and horrified.

"No. I don't believe that for a moment, but many people do. Dante believed that."

"Well, of course Dante believed that. He was in love with a dead virgin, and probably getting none, remember?"

"If you go on sleeping with me, someday the truth will become obvious to everyone. Someday, people will look at you, and they won't see you. They won't see Detective David Starsky. They won't see the good cop, the good man. All they'll see is..."

"I don't care about what they see. All I care about is what you see."

Starsky was silent for a long moment, just gazing at Hutch. Then he said, "I died."

"Starsky, don't."

"No, no, you listen to me. I was dead. Look at me, Hutch, don't look out at the water. Forget the whales and look at me. I died."

"Okay."

"I really was in that next world, that Dante only imagined. I was there. I was surrounded by love, love that beat in me like wings, and it was wonderful. Then you called me back."

"Starsky, I'm -- I'm s...."

Starsky clamped his hand over Hutch's mouth and glared. "If you say you're sorry, you'll be sleeping on the couch for a week. I swear, Hutch."

"Mmmph."

"Okay. Now listen, Mister, because I'm only gonna say this once. I was in Heaven, or something near enough, and you called me back, and I had to come back to you, because you needed me, and I realized then just how I loved you, and whoever, or whatever it was in that heaven, it knew all that was in my heart and in my soul, and there was no condemnation, and no threat of Hell. Not that it would have made any difference, Hutch. I'm not missing out on anything, here on earth with you. I still have all that love, and it beats in me like wings. It's all around us, Hutch. We have it all, between the two of us, and that's what's important. Not what anyone else thinks of us."

"I know, Starsk. I just can't help wanting to protect you. It's instinct."

"My White Knight."

A loud shout from the bow of the boat interrupted their long, loving gaze. He and Starsky turned in time to see a whale breach. Then a smaller splash nearby alerted them to an even more delightful sight. Two dolphins were putting on a show just for them.

"Aren't they marvellous?" It was the tour guide, who had, apparently, decided to join them.

"You've been missing the whales and my entire talk," she pouted. But her eyes were twinkling.

"Our apologies, Ma'am," Hutch answered. "We, um, had some... business to discuss."

"That's okay. I was only joking. Besides, Kirk and Spock are entertaining enough to make up for it, don't you think?"

"Kirk and Spock?"

"Yeah. My favourite couple. I know quite a few of them. I wonder if any others are around?" At their amused look, she laughed. "Oh, those aren't their official names. And who knows what they call themselves. Or each other, for that matter."

"But... couples?"

"Well, of course. That's dolphin sociology. Or sexuality." She looked at them solemnly for a moment, then smiled again. "Almost all male dolphins are paired off. Their bond lasts for life, usually. Males and females don't bond. They just mate to procreate, then split up. The females form strong bonds with each other too." "Do these bonds include, um, sex?" Hutch asked, hesitantly.

"Well, that depends on who you ask. They've been seen to have sex, but some scientists don't agree that sex is what they're really having."

"Huh?"

"You see, some scientists just can't understand why animals would engage in non-reproductive sex, since reproduction is the only reason animals would have sex. Right? So they keep wanting to call it something else."

"Shows how much they know," Starsky said.

"Oh, look," said the tour guide. "There's a new couple. I don't think I've seen them before."

The pair danced right up to the side of the boat. One was slightly bigger than the other. The smaller one had scars across his chest that looked like shark bites. Both had sweet, smiling dolphin faces.

"Wow. They look like they've been in the wars. Dolphins are a lot tougher than they look. They can fight sharks, killer whales. One blow from one of those tails would send us into eternity."

Hutch reached out and drew Starsky closer, then kept his arm around his lover and best friend.

"Well, we have a suggestion about what you can name them."


End file.
